Eddy Spaghetti Penguins Blog

In a lot of ways, Max Talbot is more important to my fandom of the Pittsburgh Penguins than Sidney Crosby.

This is not applicable to the league, hockey fans in general and surely not the casual sports fan or the traditional media. In fact, today, faced with the concept of broadcasting a Sidless Pens team taking on the Buffalo Sabres in a Winter Classic rematch, the Peacock opted to invoke their “flex scheduling” rights and subbed in a Wings/Stars tilt on February 17th.

Ask the city of Toronto or the puckered asshole of Don Cherry, Talbot can be a piss poor substitute for Sid.

But in reading Deadspin overlord Will Leitch’s new book God Save The Fan, one chapter particularly got me thinking. Leitch makes his case that for guys like him (read: internet savvy sports nerds) the raw personality of Gilbert Arenas is far more intriguing than the blinding talent of LeBron James. Shockingly enough, within 24 hours of the book’s release Gilbert publically agreed. No word yet on the response of King James, which kind of validates the thesis.

But for us, we empathize with an injured player being so amused by the attention lavished on a teammate that he executes a plan to fleece a standing ovation out of a crowd of strangers. We totally understand that it’s hilarious to shave in appalling facial hair patterns when you are being photographed and video taped four times a week.

And for God’s sake, who among us can honestly say we wouldn’t ham in up while filming a retarded local car commercial?

This is not meant to take anything away from Sid. He’s the king. He’s a God. He is truly delivered from otherworldly stock and therefore cannot be felled by mortal weapons. We are counting the seconds until he mercifully returns to the ice from his high ankle sprain. Which Tom Brady learned isn’t so easy to play through after all. Dick.

Even though there is not reason to believe that Cros doesn’t have a multi-fold personality buried under the catalogue of sound bytes he recites to reporters, unfortunately the glimpses at it are rare. He could have been literally shitting himself with laughter when Max hit the ice dressed as him, the difference is, he was behind closed doors.

And in that respect, Sid will always be a piss poor replacement for Max.